Monologue of a somewhat sluggish graduate ~

Warning: brain dump, not particularly legible, lots of brackets and emojis and bad grammar

Since graduating from uni I've been struggling to find motivation. Now that things have settled down (i.e. I've moved back home and am somewhat adjusted) there is this pressure (from who? where?) to be getting on with stuff. I've got a few projects on the go, started with enthusiasm, but now languishing and gathering dust. I applied for a job and am anxiously awaiting any sort of news. yIKES.

👀💥💢💣😁🙈🍰🐌🐌💐💌📎🌀✨💓🍃🍴🐾

AHH !!!!!! I feel like I've got lots of creative energy inside wanting to burst out but ... ?

Finishing uni is hard, cos with Fine Art we got our own studio space to go mad in for 3 years and I just miss that. Having a designated space to get out all my stuff and leave at the end of the day and come back tomorrow and it's all still there. 9-5 ish creating and work on my own stuff was really great and urgh I feel like an unmotivated slug at the moment. Getting up in the morning with purpose! I don't feel like I have a purpose at the moment and that's not good for my brain 😖 it was fun for a while but ummmmm
                                                  no
                                                                       thank  you.

I know this is normal. and I know it will pass, so I'm ok! and ultimately I know that God has a purpose for me and that I'll look back at this (hopefully short) period of life and I'll be able to see the good in it. I'll come out the other side having learned some valuable lessons. For the time being I'm going to keep pushing myself to make stuff and try not to give up on my projects (p.s. I opened an etsy shop and I'm trying to fight the voice in my head that's telling me it's already a flop!!), and I'm going to punch stupid anxieties in the face and try to get a job so I feel like I'm contributing to the world. Also I want to chill out and stop being stressy.          YEET!

I've really got into pinterest recently so I'm gonna insert some fun and inspirational images and leave you my url if you fancy a browse because my boards are really nice. ((Obviously none of these images are mine))
                                         💘 www.pinterest.co.uk/detritusart 💘

                        

                              

                     

                              

         

                                           

      

                       

         

I already feel better having typed this stuff out, and I'm getting over my fear of this blog. The longer I left it the worse it got but hopefully I'm back now, I have lots to share really. It just feel so old-school blogging...I kind of just want things to go back to 2014 when everyone had just-for-fun, unpolished blogs. aNYWAY that's a rant for another day.

P.S. if you can relate or have any advice for me pls reach out! We've got this, team!!!! 💪
P.P.S. follow me on insta @itsbethanymilward (I got some new pets!!)

Introducing my plant children 🌿🌿🌿

One important thing to know about me is that I like plants, actually I really love plants. I got my first house plants about 5 years ago and the collection has been growing ever since. I began mostly with cacti and succulents but I'm slowly becoming more of a leafy tropical plant gal. Today I'm going to share allllll of my plants here because they are looking particularly glorious thanks to all the sun we've had, and also it will be fun to look back on and see how much they change over time. 

Old man cactus (Cephalocereus senilis)

Devil's ivy / Pothos (Epiprumnum aureus)

Hoya carnosa variegata

Cactus seedlings at 44 days old

Spider plant (Chlorophytum comosum)

String of buttons (Crassula perforata variagata)

From left: an unknown cactus and succulent, my housemate's Wandering Jew (Tradescantia zebrina),
and a Kalanchoe purple scallops (Bryophyllum fedtschenkoi). 

Bird's nest fern (Asplenium nidus)

Another cactus (I need to learn to identify them lol) with many propagated baby Echeverias

Haworthia limifolia

Monstera deliciosa

Dancing bones (Hatiora salicornioides)

Lipstick plant (Aeschynanthus radicans)

Christmas cactus (Schlumbergera truncata)

Another Christmas cactus grown from a cutting

A Spider plant baby rooting in water

More Echeveria babies

There's always lots of propagating going on! Mostly String of buttons and Echeverias here, but there is one Jelly bean plant (Sedum patchyphyllum), and a String of pearls

More Kalanchoes

Tradescantia purple flame

A terrarium I made last year, the plants really need repotting. Includes a barrel cactus (Echinocactus grusonii),
and a Snake plant (Sansevieria cylindrica), amongst a few others

Arrowhead plant (Syngonium podophyllum)

Peace lily (Spathiphyllum)

Snake plant (Sansevieria trifasciata)

Baby Jade plant (Crassula ovata)

String of pearls (Senecio rowleyanus)

A geranium cutting from my grandparents' garden 

Another cactus

Another cactus, more Kalanchoes, a barrel cactus, a Sempervivum cutting, and a Gasteria "Hogwarts"

Random plant I picked up for free, maybe it's a rose?

My beloved hydrangea which I grew from a cutting last summer

Sedum tetractinum "Coral reef"

Sempervivum arachnoideum 

Another random plant I picked up for free

So that's all (actually I even have a couple more plants but they live back home with my mum lol), I hope you enjoyed having a peek at my collection! Next time I update it will be more like this: