Monday, 21 September 2020

Weeks 24 + 25 - the one where lockdown finally got to me 😓 but it's all good 😅🍰🐌💌🏡

Days 166-180 (5th-19th September)

This paragraph is something I wrote a few days ago as I first began making this post. I don't feel the same way now but I thought I'd leave it in to document the ups and downs of lockdown:

I know we're not technically in lockdown now, but I decided I would continue to document my lockdown until I go back to work. Life feels very different to how it did way back in March but I still feel like I'm in lockdown...imagine my surprise when #lockdown2 was trending on twitter last week! Hello! I'm still in lockdown 1! I actually don't know anyone else in my position, still furloughed 24 weeks later and at this point I really have no idea whether I will have a job to go back to once the scheme ends next month. I'm hoping for the best but all I've got going for me right now is faith that God's got my future in His hands and it's going to work out somehow. Sounds dramatic, but I just made the mistake of watching the news whilst I ate my lunch and, well, je regret. One of the main headlines was about the rocketing levels of unemployment particularly amongst 16-24 year olds so yeah, that made me feel super. I've been pretty jolly throughout the last 6 months, managing to find all the positives in being furloughed and making the most of my free time. But last week I finally hit a low, I had two days where it just felt so depressing to be at home with no purpose (there's only so much housework you can do). I ended up spending too much time on instagram, just feeling jealous of all the successful creatives I follow who seem to be making a living doing what they love. I felt like such a failure to be in this position. Being home is fine, there's always a book to read or a project to work on, but it's when you lose all motivation that it gets really difficult. Thinking of all the things I could be making or baking or studying just adds guilt and shame to the already negative feelings. things have been a little bit tiresome recently but the good news is I do feel better now! Partly because I've spent time out of the house with family, partly because I heard from my employer and it looks like I probably will go back to work eventually, and partly because that's just the way moods work lol. Anyway, somehow two weeks went by and I was completely unaware, in my mind these past two weeks have merged together into that. It seems we have been propelled back into summer which is quite nice really, I am sat looking out the window at a blue cloudless sky and the sun is shining.

One thing I forgot to mention in my last update was that our house group finished reading through the book of Job! A very timely study over the past few months. I thought it deserved a mention.

I thought I'd give also give a special mention to my fatsia here which I bought as a small houseplant in Aldi back in late July, since keeping it in the garden over the past few months I'd say it has tripled in size! 

Here are the beautiful and rustic shelves which Ed built in the garden (I hammered a few nails), complete with some spare mugs for decoration (we ran out of space in the mug cupboard).

The last of the produce...a few handfuls of purple beans and mange tout, and a small cucumber.

Our shed finally arrived after we ordered it about 2 months ago, very exciting! Stay tuned for next week to see it in its full glory.

Ed's chillies in one hand, a big fat slug in the other.

Whilst clearing away our makeshift compost heap to make space for the shed, we discovered this lovely fellow, Solomon the slow worm. We kept him in a fishtanks for a day or so and fed him caterpillars before releasing him back into the garden.

Here is some chutney I made to use up the few green tomatoes I managed to salvage from my blighted tomato plants (RIP).

Week 24's sourdough loaf (I didn't score it deep enough so it rose in an odd shape, still good though):

Week 25's sourdough loaf (added a bit too much water so it turned into a bit of a blob, also still good):

I discovered a nice 2.5 mile circuit to go running and haven't gotten tired of it yet. It involves cows, a forest path beside a stream, country lanes lined with cyclamen, and often a few dog walkers (I saw a bulldog puppy the other day!!!). I always listen to a podcast as I go, otherwise I find running quite boring.

A pencil doodle from last week, lots of scribbling with a nice colour scheme.

Some snapshots from our creative/musical/studio room, my clown collection is growing.

Decided to draw this little cherub christmas decoration which was on my desk, now I'm feeling a bit christmassy.

My chaotic desk and the nice sunlight through the curtain.

This week my grandma, my cousin, and I began learning a new crochet method! It's called mosaic crochet and it's very fun, you can do all sorts of patterns and it's not as complicated as it looks! Looking forward to finishing my big granny square blanket so I can start a new project.

A little crumble for two, I made it for the sole purpose of using up the cream in the fridge. (See picture 2 for crumble drowned in cream.)

A new monstera leaf! Always exciting, but particularly this one because it proves my plant is happy after moving to the new house, phew! Also some lovely light on the ivy.

Dreamy purple sky on our evening walk to the rope swing.

A nice skirt/sock/trainer combination, and my bloodshot eye (nice). I wanted to see what it looked like and ended up liking the picture.

After being married for 2 months we finally took our wedding cards down!

Last week we kept getting bees in the house, this one was crawling around on the floor so I gave it a little boost before putting it outside.

The snails being cute.

Another crumble! You can never have enough! (P.s. 19th September was Ed + I's three year anniversary of being together! 💏)

Some lovely speckled hydrangeas and Ed's cockatoo t-shirt which I mentioned last time!

Last Saturday we dropped my brother off to start uni in London! It was fun to have a change of scenery and to see where he'll be spending the next few years. We explored a few shops nearby and one of the funniest/oddest moments was going to Yankee Candle, all wearing masks, and trying to smell all the different candles through masks. Surreal 2020 vibes. We actually could smell fine which goes to show how much these masks actually do but hey ho, that's another subject...

During my most sluggish days all I could find the motivation to do was read Midnight Sun. It's soo good, I'm almost finished now! My decade long love for Twilight has been buried for the past few years but it popped its head up to consume some more vampire romance.

I finished this book recently! I've been listening to Allie's podcast for over a year now so I was very excited when she released her first book, I'd totally recommend it. It's full of biblical wisdom that cuts through the shallow messages we are used to hearing, particularly as women. I got my highlighters out and everything!

Here are some pics from my grandparents' garden, I visited last week and it was gloriously sunny! My cousin made yummy vegan pancakes and we ate them outside surrounded by birds and butterflies.

A peek at the bonsai nursery where Ed works.

I made a salad using my grandma's cucamelons, look how cute they are! And finally, a picture of one of my favourite summer pastimes...hanging the washing on the line! I'll miss that once winter sets in.

I hope you enjoyed this mishmash of moments from the past fortnight 🍃🍄🍐🌷🍰🐌💌🏡🌞🎨 
lots of love xox